While Asian-Americans make up four percent of the American population, 20 percent of the students in the Ivy League are Asian-Americans.

Fifteen percent of all the physicians and surgeons in the U.S. are of Asian descent, and Asian-Americans make more money than their non-Asian counterparts.

So what’s going on?

“It has everything to do with how they are raised,” write Soo Kim Abboud and Jane Kim, two first-generation Korean-American sisters, in their book Top of the Class, published by the Penguin Group.

“We are convinced that the ingredients specific to an Asian upbringing best prepare a child for success in the classroom and beyond,” write Abboud, who is a surgeon and an assistant professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and Kim, who is an attorney and an immigration specialist at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

The women feel so good about their upbringing and the success they’ve enjoyed as new Americans that they decided to disclose ‘17 Secrets’ that they say serve as the Asian foundation to raising children.

The authors candidly note that if we think that Asian parents have all the answers, we’re to think again, because Asian students have the highest suicide rate amongst college students and young adults.

I’ve always thought that love is the biggest gift we can give our children. The Asian family takes it one step further. Yes love them, make them a part of your life, but love your life as well.

If a child sees that a parent does not look forward to going to work every morning, he will view school the same, the authors note, because school is the child’s workplace.

If mom and dad come home unhappy about their work, students will get the math wrong. Dad and mom went to college, then to graduate school and they complain about their work. I need to rack up debt for that?

But I’ve got ahead of the primer that underscores that raising kids requires more than setting a standard, making sure the homework is done, and getting the kids on the bus. It’s a balancing act that requires joy, work, attention, and the entire family.

The cornerstone of the Asian plan is to get kids to love learning. The authors’ parents took whatever the girls were doing – unwrapping a candy bar, watching a movie, reading a novel – and turned those small events into great and pleasant discoveries.

If parents can instill a love of figuring things out, their kids will not only do the same, but it will help them to become who they are and to discover what they want to do with their lives, as well as succeed at their schoolwork, according to the book.

“The most important thing to remember is that learning should not be associated solely with school or work, but rather with every fun family activity,” write the authors.

Asian families, according to this book, go about education much like we do children’s birthday parties. Everyone at the birthday party wants the celebrant to have a good time, and the celebrant wants everyone to have a good time.

Everyone in an Asian-American family’s household wants the student to excel, and everyone is there to support the student. One of the authors was having a hard time with a math class so the entire family was there to support her.

While, I take that one with a shovel of salt, I do like the concept. I got to believe that Asian kids smack down with their siblings as do those who live in the American nation, but it’s a concept that is rich with potential, one worth trying to cultivate. Why not have siblings help each other with their schoolwork?

That’s the Second Secret. “No one ever makes it completely on his or her own. Instilling a sense of family pride and sense of duty, as well as a team work ethic, will hold your child accountable for his or her performance at school.

“Children will work harder and appreciate education successes more if they believe that their actions affect their entire family, not only themselves.” That could be a guilt-trip, says me, depending upon how it’s handled.

And yet I think back to what I’ve told my two boys about behaving themselves in school. I’ve told them that when they cut up it reflects poorly on their mother and father and the Rosensohn name; certainly a lot of this stuff isn’t exclusively Asian.

The book goes on to address: The role of elders and authority figures in the education of young Asian-Americans; how family wealth can sometimes hurt a child’s education instead of helping; parental involvement – what kind, how much; and how to guide your child’s personal choices, while still encouraging independence and initiative.

There are three chapters in particular that I think are worth looking at; Secret 8 addresses helping your child define short-term and long-term goals. Secret 9 addresses the art of valuing academic success over popularity, and Secret 12 addresses money.

The authors don’t mince words here: “Make your child pay for some, if not all, of his or her college education. This will instill in him an appreciation for how hard a person has to work to meet ends.”

The authors beseech parents to have thought-provoking conversations with their children about how they’re going to earn a living after they’ve completed school. “Teach your children never to underestimate the physical, emotional and social havoc financial insecurity can wreak, even if one loves what he does for a living.”